Pirate Jokes

[Northy]

Pirate jokes are just ACE, so lets all share them here :thumbsup:
There are some real obvious ones, but I'll start with this one:

Q: What is Captain Hook's favorite store?
A: The Secondhand Shop!

G

[bigred5765]

Q: why are pirates called pirates


A: Because they arrrrrrrrrrrrr

[stegger]

q, Why are pirates called pirates ?

a, Because they AAAAaaaaahhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrr :thumbsup::lol::lol:

Alltime classic

[stegger]

Beat me to it you pirate :lol::lol::lol:

[bigred5765]

beat you to it lol

[millzy]

How did the pirate raise his mast?

He used a wench!

[Mike Hudson]

Q: What does a pirate think happens at the end of time?

A: Arrrrmageddon

[bigred5765]

Q: whats a pirates favourite music

A: arrrr an beee

Q:Why couldn't the pirate hear?'


A:Cuz he had no buccan-ears


Q:What do you call a pirate with no eye?


A: A prate!

Q: Why couldn't the pirate stop thinking about sailing?

Q: He had ship for brains.

[rcracer]

Did you hear about the pirate's parrot that fell in love with a duck? The bird kept saying, "Polly wants a quacker".

[millzy]

What does a pirate say when he has a heart attack?


Arrr! Me heartie!

[Gonky]

Did you hear about the pirate who took up boxing?



He had a killer left hook!

[millzy]

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.

The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"

"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"

[bodgit]

What's a pirate's favorite car?
A FerrARRRRRRRRRRRi!

[Gonky]

Two Pirates on a ship, one says "Yarrr!"

The other says "I was just thinkin' the same thing matey"

[bodgit]

A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her...

He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large hump on his back.

She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed hump herself.

Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it.

Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow.

Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a pirate ship in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a pirate off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole!

He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face...

As she swam off she said..."I'll Hump, I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T SWALLOW SEAMEN!

[Stu]

I want to ____ _ ______ __ ___ ___!

[bigoggy]

A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her...

He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large hump on his back.

She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed hump herself.

Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it.

Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow.

Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a pirate ship in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a pirate off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole!

He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face...

As she swam off she said..."I'll Hump, I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T SWALLOW SEAMEN!


:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[MikePimlott]

A pirate captain was on the sea when the lookout on the crows nest shouted pirate ship ahead. the captain turned to his first mate and said get me my red shirt. the first mate got the shirt and the captain put it on. a battle took place and the 1st pirate ship won. after the battle the first mate asked the captain why the red shirt. the captain said he wore it so if he got shot or injured the men wouldn't see the blood and they would fight harder. all of the sudden the lookout said captain there are 20 pirate ships coming. the captain looked at his first mate and said bring me my brown pants.

[mpg200]

September 19th is International talk like a pirate day!! All of these jokes can be used again and will STILL be funny:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

we like pirate jokes