Captain-Codpiece-The-2nd
10-12-2009, 03:32 PM
Ok after my last rant on here, I have decided to balance the good/bad chi a bit. This is a true story and happened last night. :D
As some of you may know, I work for a bike distributor. We sell an electric bike brand that we have exclusive rights to in the UK. Long story short, I had a call from a customer in St Albans 2 months ago reporting his bike had been stolen. This particular bike is to the tune of ?1600, so no Halfords special. It wasn't insured and I really felt for the guy, as he was a good customer and a genuine nice guy. Anyway fast forward to the beginning of this week. . . . .
I get another call, from someone who sounded like Dizzee Rascal himself. He was after a charger for an electric bike, innit. I thought he didn't sound like our particular target market so took a keen interest (much more keen than my usual lax 'please dont talk to me I dont actually work here' attitude). Took the order for him, got his address, email and telephone number. Then rang the cops. Useless, as to be expected. The guy lives 0.4 miles from the chap who had his stolen, same bike, same size, only an idiot would say it was unlikely that it was his bike......unfortunately that said idiot was working the phones at Hertfordshire police that evening.
So plan B......I decided to hand deliver the charger. Went down to his address, knocked on the door of the 3rd floor flat (complete with dumped tv outside, not joking!) and no answer. I could hear him and see his shadow as he checked the peephole. No answer. So I rang him and in my best cockney gangster accent I told him I was the delivery driver. Great success! He opens the door, dressed head to toe in nike, addidas and with a black eye to match. Anyway I ended up persuading him to let me check the charger was the correct one, incase he damaged the battery. Checked the serial number on the bike, surprise surprise it was the stolen one.
Now here comes the funny bit, all along Ive had my hands free headphones on tucked into my top, on a constant call to my mate sat outside. The look on his face when I pressed the speaker and called in the cavalry was priceless. Immediately excuses started coming out about how it wasnt his bike and he was helping a mate out, and his voice went up 2 octaves. I told him I wasnt the police and he looked so confused, bless him. I then explained to him how I wouldnt call them, but we were taking the bike. funnily enough he didnt have a problem with that. He did have the cheek to ask for his ?125 back though for the charger!
Anyhow the moral of this story is; the police are rubbish, and in 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison for a crime they did not commit. these men promptly escaped from a maximum security prison and started to work for an electric bike company. If you have a problem, or are female and moderately attractive, and if you can find them, maybe you should hire the A team :D
Pleas note for legal reasons I am in no way implying that Dizzee Rascal stole a bike, or is indeed a thief atall. He is merely just a twat.
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REHAB FORUM (http://www.rehab-forum.com/)
As some of you may know, I work for a bike distributor. We sell an electric bike brand that we have exclusive rights to in the UK. Long story short, I had a call from a customer in St Albans 2 months ago reporting his bike had been stolen. This particular bike is to the tune of ?1600, so no Halfords special. It wasn't insured and I really felt for the guy, as he was a good customer and a genuine nice guy. Anyway fast forward to the beginning of this week. . . . .
I get another call, from someone who sounded like Dizzee Rascal himself. He was after a charger for an electric bike, innit. I thought he didn't sound like our particular target market so took a keen interest (much more keen than my usual lax 'please dont talk to me I dont actually work here' attitude). Took the order for him, got his address, email and telephone number. Then rang the cops. Useless, as to be expected. The guy lives 0.4 miles from the chap who had his stolen, same bike, same size, only an idiot would say it was unlikely that it was his bike......unfortunately that said idiot was working the phones at Hertfordshire police that evening.
So plan B......I decided to hand deliver the charger. Went down to his address, knocked on the door of the 3rd floor flat (complete with dumped tv outside, not joking!) and no answer. I could hear him and see his shadow as he checked the peephole. No answer. So I rang him and in my best cockney gangster accent I told him I was the delivery driver. Great success! He opens the door, dressed head to toe in nike, addidas and with a black eye to match. Anyway I ended up persuading him to let me check the charger was the correct one, incase he damaged the battery. Checked the serial number on the bike, surprise surprise it was the stolen one.
Now here comes the funny bit, all along Ive had my hands free headphones on tucked into my top, on a constant call to my mate sat outside. The look on his face when I pressed the speaker and called in the cavalry was priceless. Immediately excuses started coming out about how it wasnt his bike and he was helping a mate out, and his voice went up 2 octaves. I told him I wasnt the police and he looked so confused, bless him. I then explained to him how I wouldnt call them, but we were taking the bike. funnily enough he didnt have a problem with that. He did have the cheek to ask for his ?125 back though for the charger!
Anyhow the moral of this story is; the police are rubbish, and in 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison for a crime they did not commit. these men promptly escaped from a maximum security prison and started to work for an electric bike company. If you have a problem, or are female and moderately attractive, and if you can find them, maybe you should hire the A team :D
Pleas note for legal reasons I am in no way implying that Dizzee Rascal stole a bike, or is indeed a thief atall. He is merely just a twat.
________
REHAB FORUM (http://www.rehab-forum.com/)