Actual Housing Complaints

[rcracer]

These are actual housing complaints :D

1 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=855&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
2 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=869&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus in it.
3 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=867&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
4 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=864&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
5 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=853&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
6 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=862&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
7 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=866&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.
8 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=860&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
9 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=858&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?
10 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=863&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6:00am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
11 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=857&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
12 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=856&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew them off.
13 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=868&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have had no satisfaction.
14 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=859&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.
15 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=870&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more.
16 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=861&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
17 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=854&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
18 (http://www.witty-quotes.com/vote/vote.php?id=865&shortCat=housingcomplaints&page=1).
Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

[creamsodauk]

i laughed at so many of them, so so good!

[j.m.]

Stupid Europeans.....

[rcracer]

Stupid Europeans.....

:confused:....

[coolcars782]

:confused:....

He's American :lol:

[bodgit]

He's American :lol:
Ah that explains it trailer trash, redneck

[shanks]

Classics nice one pal :woot:

[j.m.]

Thanks buddy!! :p

I do live in the south!! Good job on getting the redneck part, I love my trucks and guns. But not quite trailer trash... I live on a 1 acre lot in a neighborhood full of 2500 sq. ft homes.

There's been far stupider things said here...

Here's one:
A professor at the University of Kentucky was giving a lecture on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, ‘How many people here believe in ghosts?’
About 90 students raise their hands.
‘Well, that’s a good start.
Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?’
About 40 students raise their hands.
‘That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously..
Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?’
About 15 students raise their hand.
‘Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?’
Three students raise their hands.
‘That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…
Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?’
Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses, and says ‘Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.’
The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, ‘So, Bubba, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?’
Bubba replied….
‘Shiiiiiiit!! >From way back there I thought you said ‘Goats…’

(This is true) My uncle's neighbor's name is Hotrod.

Jon

[bodgit]

[QUOTE=j.m.;340283]Thanks buddy!! :p

I do live in the south!! Good job on getting the redneck part, I love my trucks and guns. But not quite trailer trash... I live on a 1 acre lot in a neighborhood full of 2500 sq. ft homes.

2500 sq.ft is not really big enough for a brother and sister and their 35 kids. :woot:
Please dont tell me you were one of the gang who tried to kill our beloved Top Gear presentors when they rode through your territory with a few slogans painted on their vehicles.
http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/fighting/fighting0023.gif (http://www.mysmiley.net/freesmiley.php?smiley=fighting/fighting0023.gif)
p73pt4adwmk

[j.m.]

No...

And I'm an only child! :p

here it's not Americans with a lot of people in the same place, generally immigrants from poor countries. It really is sad to see a nice Indian family of 12 in a 3 bedroom apartment...