Our journey towards the rectum of middle-England, Workshop, commenced at approximately 5.30pm on Friday evening. With Stu out of action due to a bad back, car loading took about 4 times longer than usual.
Thankfully Stu was well enough to drive, and after one failed attempt of wrestling the dog-milk wagon up one slippery mountain out of the ‘Hud, we turned around and opted for the more mainstream route which turned out to be equally as slippery.
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Oh hum |
This is as exciting as it got |
Embracing the adventure and thanking fuck that we weren’t stuck behind the abandoned lorries facing the opposite direction, we followed the slow moving traffic M1-bound. A rather chilly 3 hours later we landed in Worksop, just in time to join the exhausted track building team for a bite to eat at the local pub.
After an invigorating evening discussing the politics of homologation, personal transponders, and perfume, we retired for the night to prepare for another early start.
Track Build.
Worksop always produce a track plan prior to their meetings, mainly to prevent the grafting team fighting amongst themselves over whats the best layout when they arrive to construct. Generally the team consists of around 10 local dedicated workers. On this occasion however the muscle came from far and wide. The usual suspects were all busy so huge thanks must go to the French team and the guys from Scotland who all got here early in the day and despite the hundreds of miles they’d driven to get here were only too happy to further international relations and muck in and help out – true gents!
 Saturday March 23rd 2013
Open practice kicked off the morning as drivers struggled to arrive in the rather wintery conditions. Still - it was nowhere near as bad as it had been in Huddersfield up that there North where we be from like. Bad enough for Rob Nelson to get stuck in the car park however - and we needed him for the timing computer. When we last saw Rob he was embarking upon becoming a pirate – he is now fully kitted out with the beard and ponytail.
The 2013 Players race at Worksop deviated from its usual 'Reedy format' style of previous years to a bump-up system - which you might have guessed from the name of the event. But not everyone is on the ball like me.
Rob explained how this weekends qualifying and finals would work. Each driver gets 6 rounds of qualifying, with the best 4 round scores to count. The finals are set out in a Christmas tree format, with two 1/8th finals, the top three in each of these finals will bump up to join the seven qualifiers in each quarter final. The top three from each quarter final join the 7 drivers who qualified in each semi final, and the top 5 drivers in each semi final progress into the 10 car main final.
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Greg Williams was breaking stuff all over the place |
Fabien Simonini chose to stamp on non-durango's |
So things got underway a little later than hoped. With the weather there were a few people not able to attend / too cozy in bed - so this reduced the number of heats down but there was still a great atmosphere and the French lads travelled all the way in a 2CV to race here at Worksop, so hats off to them.
After the open practice there was a little break before two rounds of controlled and timed practice would take place. Like the EOS series we've been attending, the fastest three consecutive laps would decide the qualifying heats and would give an early indication of who the fast lads really are.
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Overall fastest 3 consequtive laps |
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position |
name |
result - 3 laps combined time |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
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2 |
Simon Moss |
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3 |
Greg Williams |
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4 |
Paul Bradby |
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5 |
Tom Cockerill |
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6 |
Nathan Waters |
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7 |
Steven Pierce |
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8 |
Ben Jemison |
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9 |
James Helliwell |
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10 |
Eugene Galley |
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With Cragg at the top of the heap - things were reet close with 6 drivers going sub-1 minute over their three quickest laps.
Tom Cockerill was top however in the first round of qualifying with his Cougar SV2 with new bling side pods. Tom took the win by 3 seconds over Bradby with Moss right behind in third giving the tractor a lovely warm sandwich of Schumachers.
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Some people were working on SECRETS |
Tom Cockerill over the big table top |
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2wd Qualifying Round 1 |
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1 |
Tom Cockerill |
15/5'1.35 |
2 |
Paul Bradby |
15/5'4.06 |
3 |
Simon Moss |
15/5'4.34 |
4 |
Nathan Waters |
15/5'5.40 |
5 |
Neil Cragg |
15/5'7.17 |
6 |
James Helliwell |
15/5'8.74 |
7 |
Greg Williams |
15/5'11.03 |
8 |
Eugene Galley |
15/5'13.97 |
9 |
Steve Pierce |
15/5'16.09 |
10 |
Matt Latham |
15/5'16.65 |
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2:30am - reporting, chiptune on loop - win.
Paul Bradby came back in round two with the first and only 16 lap run to just edge out Tom Cockerill who missed out on the extra lap by fractions of a second. Our Francais chum Julien Parnot snook in 9th in round with his 'wonder machine' - more on that car later though.
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The fact that Paul Bradby's car looks like it crashed into a custard factory didn't phase him at all |
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2wd Qualifying Round 2 |
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1 |
Paul Bradby |
16/5:18.32 |
2 |
Tom Cockerill |
15/5:00.23 |
3 |
Neil Cragg |
15/5:05.42 |
4 |
Nathan Waters |
15/5:06.25 |
5 |
James Helliwell |
15/5:09.23 |
6 |
Greg Williams |
15/5:09.85 |
7 |
Matt Latham |
15/5:11.28 |
8 |
Steve Pierce |
15/5:12.65 |
9 |
Julien Parnot |
15/5:16.01 |
10 |
Gareth Stanton |
15/5:20.15 |
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Neil Cragg took the third qaulifier with a new fastest time and like Bradby before, had the only 16 lap run of the round. Simon Moss second and Bradby in third. Tom Cockerill was beaten to last place by Stephen Wilkinson as he pulled off early after coming together. erm.
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Ben Jemison - the littlest hobao |
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2wd Qualifying Round 3 |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
16/5'17.05 |
2 |
Simon Moss |
15/5'2.93 |
3 |
Paul Bradby |
15/5'6.45 |
4 |
James Helliwell |
15/5'6.66 |
5 |
Steven Pierce |
15/5'9.58 |
6 |
Julien Parnot |
15/5'10.97 |
7 |
Ross Barras |
15/5'12.40 |
8 |
Gareth Stanton |
15/5'12.51 |
9 |
Nathan Waters |
15/5'13.16 |
10 |
Ben Jemison |
15/5'16.27 |
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James Helliwell smashed it up in RD4 and wouldn't talk so we dedicate this to his RD4 misery. |
The heating got put on so round 4 was the quickest yet with 5 drivers making the extra lap this time - but again Cragg was top of the heap with a new fastest time by three seconds, and left Nathan Waters and Greg Willams floundering unable to quite beat Craggy's RD 3 time..
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2wd Qualifying Round 4 |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
16/5'14.44 |
2 |
Nathan Waters |
16/5'17.13 |
3 |
Greg Williams |
16/5'17.84 |
4 |
Simon Moss |
16/5'18.64 |
5 |
Paul Bradby |
16/5'18.67 |
6 |
Matt Latham |
15/5'04.66 |
7 |
Ben Jemison |
15/5'12.58 |
8 |
Eugene Galley |
15/5'12.86 |
9 |
Tom Cockerill |
15/5'12.89 |
10 |
Steven Pierce |
15/5'15.24 |
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Steve Pierce comes up short |
Bradby lays some custard on Cragg - man battle! |
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2wd Qualifying Round 5 |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
16/5'11.25 |
2 |
Simon Moss |
16/5'13.06 |
3 |
Tom Cockerill |
16/5'16.25 |
4 |
Greg Williams |
15/5'2.44 |
5 |
James Helliwell |
15/5'3.08 |
6 |
Paul Bradby |
15/5'9.03 |
7 |
Julien Parnot |
15/5'9.28 |
8 |
Eugene Galley |
15/5'11.71 |
9 |
Nathan Waters |
15/5'15.89 |
10 |
Dave Belsten |
15/5'16.33 |
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By the final round of qualifying it was clear that Cragg was just getting quicker and quicker. We asked what the secret was and in all honesty he just felt the car wasn't right in the first couple of rounds but as his ace mechanic and by pure chance dad, Mick Cragg, worked feverishly on the setup the car got more and more dialled. Mick changed to a reet short rear camber link for more rotation in the corners - whatever, it was quick.
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Look, there's only so many photos of Neil Cragg's car I can put on the report before he gets a restraining order |
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2wd Qualifying Round 6 |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
16/5'8.08 |
2 |
Nathan Waters |
16/5'14.07 |
3 |
Greg Williams |
16/5'20.98 |
4 |
James Helliwell |
15/5'8.11 |
5 |
Steven Pierce |
15/5'8.49 |
6 |
Eugene Galley |
15/5'9.53 |
7 |
Ben Jemison |
15/5'12.85 |
8 |
Julien Parnot |
15/5'13.62 |
9 |
Ross Barras |
15/5'14.26 |
10 |
Dave Belsten |
15/5'16.12 |
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Muzzy kindly hosted us at the local Travelodge for the duration of the Players event - what a WARRIOR. These northern folk are really nice guys. There was me Vicko and Stu - Stu was going to take the sofa bed but because there was a spare room for Tom Cockerill - who wasn't arriving until the following day, Stu was offered that for the night so we didn't have to smell his constant farts.
A moment of genius was drawn upon the minds of juvenile idiots - the identity of whom we can't reveal at all but the plan and the process certainly is one for the minds of all oOple readers.
Aforementioned un-named people thought it would be 'funny' to wait for the hotel room to be cleaned and then sneak back and sabotage it for the enjoyment of Tom Cockerill. These people are idiots and not connected with oOple in any way but we documented their antics just in case there is a criminal case brought.
The plan - buy some Y-front under crackers, red bull the front, choccy up the rear and then carefully place them tucked into Tom's lovely clean bed. As I write this I've no idea if Tom didn't notice them and awoke with them over his face and projectile vomited - or dismissed it as a dumb joke instantly. |
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Pre-Finals sneak attack |
Brand new - not for long however |
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lol |
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This guy poses with the new pants before the 'messing' |
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Carburrys Buttons - Milky Choc goodness |
Cheap redbull stuff - nice front stains |
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This photograph doesn't begin to show the horror |
Imagine the face |
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This person poses with the now set up GAG - how Tom will laugh. |
Tom never mentioned anything about the underpant situation to anyone on Sunday - we think he was wearing them, this is disturbing. |
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The Finals.
This is what it's all about, with every driver having the chance to bump all the way up into the main final, even after qualifying has finished. Personally I think they should have played a joker card and reversed the order - so you've got the top lads fighting like maniacs to make it all the way up to the A. This would be funny, for us.
To better explain the process of the bump-up christmas-tree format I went onto google images to try and find a useful image. Sadly - the closest I got was a photo of champion kickboxer Alistair Overeem with a load of Japanese girls hanging off him like he's a man-tree and they are cute fleshy baubels. So with this in mind I decided to created a proper graphic but keep with the Japanese lady theme since this must have something to do with the format? Maybe it was invented in Japan. Who knows. I wonder how many Japanese girls we could hang off oOple legend, Stu Evans? Probably none.
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I wish I were that strong, I would fly to Japan tomorrow. Anyway - this is how the finals work (on the RIGHT) |
B 1/8 final
First final on the track was the B 1/8 final, lead by Stephen Wilkinson, Natalie Williams, and Shane Foot. Super Hull warrior Shane looked to make a pass at young Natalie Williams just one lap into the race, but a twitch from Natalie saw the pair collide. The move worked for Shane who moved into 3rd place but Natalie came off worse, dropping down to 5th.
Eyeball Paul came through into 2nd place behind Stephen Wilkinson who was pulling a 5 second lead. Shane Foot held onto 3rd place with a 6 second gap back to Colin Mc in 4th place.
Some wrestling occured at the back of the field but the top three remained the same, with Stephen Wilkinson, Paul Crawford and Shane Foot bumping up into the quarter finals.
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Left: Stephen Wilkinson in pole position, Right: Stephen, Eyeball Paul and Shane foot bump up. |
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2wd- B 1/8 final |
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1 |
Stephen Wilkinson |
14/5'7.10 |
2 |
Paul Crawford |
14/5'13.93 |
3 |
Shane Foot |
14/5'19.12 |
4 |
Natalie Williams |
13/5'5.52 |
5 |
Colin McCaffery |
13/5'11.76 |
6 |
Lee Washington |
13/5'18.18 |
7 |
Russell Woodhouse |
13/5'20.83 |
8 |
Mikey Dunn |
11/5'7.68 |
9 |
Thomas Spence |
11/5'25.46 |
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A 1/8 final
Next final on the track was the 1/8 A, headed by Chris Steward, Mitchell Fiddling and Fred Biers.
Early in the race Chris Stewart rolled and dropped down to 3rd place, there was chaos for the lead cars as backmarkers crossed the track and interrupted their race. Fiddling moved into the lead and had Chris Stewart hot on his tail, but Chris got stuck on a track marker and needed marshalling which allowed Fiddling some breathing space.
Julian Becket rolled and was stranded on the track like an upturned tortoise until a marshal came to his rescue. The top three preparing to bump up were Fiddling, Stanway and Stewart. Fidling had a 1 second lead which he extended to 2 seconds by the race end. With one minute left to race there was a 10 second gap between Chris Stewart in 3rd place and 4th place Antony Washington, and a clean last minute saw all three bump into the quarter finals.
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Left: Chris Stewart in the one-spot, Right: Fiddling, Stanway and Stewart FIST through into quarter finals. |
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2wd- A 1/8 final |
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1 |
Mitchell Fiddling |
14/5'7.56 |
2 |
Chris Stewart |
14/5'13.78 |
3 |
Rob Stanway |
14/5'15.66 |
4 |
Antony Washington |
13/5'3.26 |
5 |
Fred Briers |
13/5'11.96 |
6 |
Julian Beckett |
13/5'13.29 |
7 |
Darren Moult |
12/5'6.42 |
8 |
Gareth Oldfield |
11/5'5.51 |
9 |
Craig Black |
10/5'23.00 |
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B 1/4 final
A clean start for the quarter finals saw Andrew Twigger lead Fabien and Will Johnson off the grid. The top three started to pull a short gap back to 4th place Paul Crompton who tumbled but kept hold of his position in the field.
A backmarker crashed and when marshalled back onto the track was placed in Fabiens way, sending Fabs off-line and dropping him down to 4th place. Paul Crompton was now in the mix for bumping up, sitting 3rd in race. Fabien wasn't out for long though and the pair exchanged places again.
Super Footy had moved up from his bump-up position of 10th on the grid, along with fellow-bump up Stephen Wilkinson who was now chasing down 5th place.
Eyeball Paul and Footy were soon battling it out in 7th and 8th position, with a chance of further bumping up looking unlikely for the hull pair.
Mark Christopher was bringing up the rear.
Fabs was back in 4th place and chasing Crompton hard for his chance to bump up, Twigger had pulled a 3 second lead on the rest of the field. For 1/8 finalist bump ups Shane, Eyeball Paul and Stephen Wilkinson there were no more chances of bumping up.
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2wd- B 1/4 final |
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1 |
Andrew Twigger |
15/5'21.68 |
2 |
Will Johnson |
15/5'21.90 |
3 |
Paul Crompton |
14/5'1.06 |
4 |
Fabien Simonini |
14/5'3.15 |
5 |
David Smith |
14/5'10.21 |
6 |
Stephen Wilkinson |
14/5'13.22 |
7 |
Jeff Steele |
14/5'21.10 |
8 |
Paul Crawford |
13/5'1.30 |
9 |
Shane Foot |
13/5'5.12 |
10 |
Mark Christopher |
13/5'6.19 |
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A 1/4 final
Belsten, Evans and Coates lead the race from the grid - first lap in and there was just effin chaos on the track from 2nd place (Stu's spot) all the way back to 10th place all ending up in some sort of mass-pile-on-orgy, whilst Belsten belted off into the distance with a semi in his mind. Evans was now down into 4th place, with Kenny in 2nd and Fidling in 3rd. Coates was way back in 10th place having pulled out of the orgy worst of all.
Belsten by now had an 8 second lead, whilst something bad happened to Kenny and he dropped down a bit, Fidling was in 2nd and Evans up to 3rd. Coates soon came up through the order and slipped into sloppy second place. There was more chaos, it was just chaos and couldnt possibly be followed in any sort of reporting manner.
Belsten was 10 seconds ahead, Coates dropped back but once again came out of nowhere, whilst bumped up Chris Stewart appeared in 4th place. Evans was well out of the bump up region and dropped into the 8th spot, with Stanway in last place. The first double-bump-ups of the day were Fiddling and Chris Stewart who were now through into the semis.
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2wd- A 1/4 final |
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1 |
Dave Belsten |
15/5'16.73 |
2 |
Mitchell Fiddling |
14/5'8.92 |
3 |
Chris Stewart |
14/5'9.20 |
4 |
Richard Coates |
14/5'12.93 |
5 |
Kenny Clark |
14/5'13.22 |
6 |
James Collins |
14/5'17.29 |
7 |
Michael Vincent |
13/5'0.33 |
8 |
Stuart Evans |
13/5'4.79 |
9 |
Rob Stanway |
13/5'20.69 |
10 |
Thibault Berthier |
13/5'21.33 |
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A SEMI
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Left: Serious on the rostrum for last chance to make the main, right: Bradby takes charge of A semi |
Bradby, Waters and Greg - Bradby in the lead but on lap one he nearly fell off the table top - straightened up but lost a position to Nathan waters who took up the lead. More errors from Bradby saw him drop again, now down to 4th place, whilst Greg Williams was up to 2nd and Steve Pierce to 3rd.
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Nathan takes charge of the race (left), and Steve Pierce briefly up to 2nd after more errors from Bradby (Right). |
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Bump-up Twigger on the left, going Faster with Fister. Francois Julien Parnot on the right - likes the Vageen! |
Nathan and Greg now had a lead back to Bradby who had moved into 3rd place.
Pierce dropped off a jump but managed to hold onto 4th place. Will Johnson moved up from 9th on the grid to 5th, keeping him in with a chance of bumping into the main final. Lead man waters dropped to 3rd place seeing Bradby promoted to 2nd, Greg taking the win.
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2wd- A SEMI |
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1 |
Greg Williams |
16/5'17.17 |
2 |
Nathan Waters |
16/5'19.74 |
3 |
Paul Bradby |
15/5'8.54 |
4 |
Steven Pierce |
15/5'13.25 |
5 |
Will Johnson |
15/5'13.85 |
6 |
Ross Barras |
15/5'16.47 |
7 |
Andrew Twigger |
15/5'16.52 |
8 |
Matthew Latham |
15/5'19.91 |
9 |
Julien Parnot |
14/5'7.37 |
10 |
Paul Crompton |
14/5'22.32 |
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B SEMI - (not quite as good as A semi - guffaw)
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Cragg lines up the B-Semi. |
Cragg lead the field away from the grid, and by the time he came around onto the straight he nearly had the full length leading back to 2nd place, by lap two he was the full length of the straight in't lead.
Moss took a roll, team mate Cockerill moved past into 2nd and Helliwell into 3rd.
Bump-up-Belsten was chasing hard in 6th place, looking for an opportunity to bump into the main finals - he'd need to be in 5th place though if he was serious about bumping up.
Cragg held a 5 second lead back to 2nd place Cockerill, Helliwell in 3rd, Eugene in 4th and Moss in 5th. Helliwell moved up to 2nd place when Cockerill had an altercation with an upturned car. Bumped-up-finalists Chris Stewart and Fidling were cruising around at the rear, whilst further up the order Belsten was not enjoying the pressure from behind.
Another mistake from Cockerill saw him drop down to 5th place, whilst Ben Jemison now back in 6th position was looking for his own chance to bump into the main final.
With 1 minute left the race order was Cragg well into the lead, Helliwell, with Moss and Cockerill swapping places in 3rd and 4th, followed by Galley in 5th.
Cragg was lapping through the back-traffic, Galley moved up to 4th, Moss down to 5th, whilst on the last lap Cockerill moved through past Helliwells tractor to finish in 2nd place.
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2wd- B SEMI |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
16/5'8.12 |
2 |
Tom Cockerill |
15/5'2.15 |
3 |
James Helliwell |
15/5'4.03 |
4 |
Eugene Galley |
15/5'5.11 |
5 |
Simon Moss |
15/5'6.55 |
6 |
Ben Jemison |
15/5'9.96 |
7 |
Dave Belsten |
15/5'12.41 |
8 |
Gareth Stanton |
15/5'17.29 |
9 |
Chris Stewart |
14/5'19.44 |
10 |
Mitchell Fiddling |
13/5'7.22 |
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oOple favourite Coatsey had made the journey here from his slippery Northern quarters, but he was unable to explain his erratic performance during the quarter final which prevented him from making A semi.
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BASH for CASH. A race of rejects - the bottom of the barrel was opened for the drivers who were lowest for a special race with cash money prizes.
It was a dream-like 7 minute race of hero superstars, and Jimmy, kicked off with some madness, more stuff went off, Jimmy was 0.2sec per lap slower that Neil's best even with purposely cutting the track in half, smashed Nathan's DEX210 into everything but it survived, Anthony Washington won, there was applause, Rob's beard was seen by God, pounds were shed, nuns got their breasts out, some dew formed in the eyes of men, of men.
Anthony Washington continued his winning streak - after taking home the prize of custom name decals at the last Worksop race, at the Players he dominated the Bash for Cash taking the £22.18 prize, some Fist Forward directional wheel decals, a blue paperclip and some red stickers. |
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A MAIN.
Cragg lead them away with Greg Williams looking good right behind. Coming to count the first lap and onto the main straight saw Greg get a little sideways and Nathan Waters was now pushing him round as Cragg extended his lead. The pressure on Greg told and he made a costly mistake on the small wall ride which required marshalling.
The field was well spread out at the front with Nathan second and Tom Cockerill third. Nathan rolled on the hairpin after the straight and as he got underway again clashed wheels with Tom Cockerill who got knocked completely off line which lost him a couple of positions with Helliwell now moving into the third spot.
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PROOF - Cab forward is slower. |
Cragg were doin alright |
Simon Moss closed in on Helliwell and looked the faster driver but couldn't make a move. The pair lapped together like a human centipede but a mistake from Moss saw Helliwell get some breathing room in third whilst Moss was enveloped in the melee for 4th.
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Bradby crashed on the straight - so Mossy follows it up |
Cragg was just taking the mick out front - dominating the race and lapping car after car. Bradby crashed on the main straight and this caused Simon Moss to panic and instantly crash into the wall on the straight also. Greg Williams caught up to helliwell on the final lap and went ballistic into the final chichane over the mats for the finish line - probably knocking helliwell over the line in the process as the pair tumbled over to finish with Greg having to settle for 4th.
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No one, I mean, no one was turning into the corners as early as Cragg was. Drift king stylee. |
Cragg lapped everyone up to second place - only three seconds seperated Cragg from lapping Nathan Waters - what a drive.
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Nathan Waters, Neil Cragg, James Helliwell |
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2WD A Main |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
22/7'4.29 |
2 |
Nathan Waters |
21/7'1.74 |
3 |
James Helliwell |
21/7'6.11 |
4 |
Greg Williams |
21/7'6.46 |
5 |
Paul Bradby |
21/7'16.63 |
6 |
Eugene Galley |
20/7'2.82 |
7 |
Simon Moss |
20/7'20.17 |
8 |
Will Johnson |
19/7'15.82 |
9 |
Tom Cockerill |
18/6'40.82 |
10 |
Steven Pierce |
17/6'1.42 |
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Neil with his winning Associated / CML Centro C4.1 |
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Cragg could never be a Touring Car driver |
It is clinically proven that some cars are more turd-like in snowy conditions than others. This pirate had to abandon ship and await assistance from these helpful northern fellas.
 Sunday March 24th 2013 - 4wd.
Four wheel drive is a different animal on the rubberised surface. Robs special screen shows the voltage, signal strength and temperature on the racers PT's, geeky eh? Well, only if you have a PT from 'THE MAN'.
Gregs arm virginity, Juliene, he like? Greg isn't sure how his arm came to be potted up, but we think he's done a secret robotic arm swap with Joern Neumann. Gregs father, Barry, isn't fussy about who takes Gregs pot virginity, but for sure he needs decorating pretty soon.
Muzzy just said "Chris Stewart is TQ", eh, that can't be right? Leon is in the second top heat, WTF?
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These stealthy guys were overheard discussing the politics of R/C. |
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Ghz
Stu Evans was present on a slightly depleted oOple duty this weekend, having 'done his back' foolishly lifting a 30kg box three times the size of him, before heading to Worksop on Friday. Stu exaccerbated matters by hambrake turning the dog-milk-van in the snow on Saturday morning, yanking on his handle too vigorusly, silly billy! He soldiered on through the weekend on an interesting combination of donated medication, and was glad that he did as he finally achieved his number two aim in life - to be the only driver at a high profile race meeting running a crystal powered transmitter. We think Stu is on crystal meth. This can be made using Ephedrine and Sudoefedrine - but a more modern and less explosive way is using Sudafed and lithium from batteries apparently. Stu's combination of Tramadol, Ibuprofen, Paracetomol and coffee put the oOple stick-man on TQ pace well ahead of Cragg (but only in his head, his car was actually rutting up against a chair in the corner, like some sort of pig-on-crack). At least he has three pairs of new underpants, Carrie will be happy.
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We do not condone the manufacture of crystal meth, it makes you go nuts like a full on loon and you will drive like Adam Lewis. Tom Cockerill - where ARE those soiled pants that were planted in your bed? |
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4wd Qualifying Round 1 |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
17/5'13.48 |
2 |
Greg Williams |
17/5'17.60 |
3 |
Simon Moss |
16/5'3.16 |
4 |
Tom Cockerill |
16/5'7.51 |
5 |
Matthew Latham |
16/5'11.46 |
6 |
Ben Jemison |
16/5'13.96 |
7 |
Gareth Stanton |
16/5'14.23 |
8 |
Nathan Waters |
16/5'15.51 |
9 |
Dave Belsten |
16/5'17.30 |
10 |
Andrew Twigger |
16/5'17.54 |
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Back in a time before oOple or Jimmy, there was 'JAMES'. This person was replaced thankfully but this logo from maybe 15 years ago lays dormant on my PC. |
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4wd Qualifying Round 2 |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
17/5'9.44 |
2 |
Simon Moss |
17/5'14.68 |
3 |
Paul Bradby |
17/5'15.17 |
4 |
Tom Cockerill |
16/5'0.85 |
5 |
Greg Williams |
16/5'8.07 |
6 |
James Helliwell |
16/5'10.38 |
7 |
Matthew Latham |
16/5'12.95 |
8 |
Andrew Twigger |
16/5'13.44 |
9 |
Michael Vincent |
16/5'16.88 |
10 |
Steven Pierce |
16/5'19.96 |
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After taking the first couple of rounds it was Neil Cragg's team mate, Paul Bradby on top in round three just ahead of Nathan Waters with Cragg third.
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4wd Qualifying Round 3 |
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1 |
Paul Bradby |
17/5'14.66 |
2 |
Nathan Waters |
17/5'15.56 |
3 |
Neil Cragg |
17/5'19.22 |
4 |
Simon Moss |
16/5'0.58 |
5 |
Greg Williams |
16/5'1.44 |
6 |
James Helliwell |
16/5'6.27 |
7 |
Gareth Stanton |
16/5'10.18 |
8 |
Eugene Galley |
16/5'13.67 |
9 |
Richard Drury |
16/5'15.43 |
10 |
Will Johnson |
16/5'15.48 |
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Greg uses his sisters glasses to good effect |
A broken screw - but Moss still managed 5th! |
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4wd Qualifying Round 4 |
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1 |
Greg Williams |
17/5'12.80 |
2 |
Neil Cragg |
17/5'15.18 |
3 |
Nathan Waters |
16/5'1.57 |
4 |
James Helliwell |
16/5'3.83 |
5 |
Simon Moss |
16/5'4.62 |
6 |
Paul Bradby |
16/5'4.77 |
7 |
Matthew Latham |
16/5'11.77 |
8 |
Michael Vincent |
16/5'14.25 |
9 |
Andrew Twigger |
16/5'18.51 |
10 |
Wes Jolly |
16/5'19.23 |
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Neil confirmed the TQ in the penultimate round of qualifying with a new fastest time, 5 seconds ahead of Bradby in second.
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4wd Qualifying Round 5 |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
17/5'7.18 |
2 |
Paul Bradby |
17/5'12.64 |
3 |
Nathan Waters |
17/5'18.02 |
4 |
Greg Williams |
17/5'18.98 |
5 |
Simon Moss |
16/5'3.79 |
6 |
Tom Cockerill |
16/5'6.52 |
7 |
Matthew Latham |
16/5'6.63 |
8 |
Ben Jemison |
16/5'8.32 |
9 |
Steven Pierce |
16/5'12.91 |
10 |
Michael Vincent |
16/5'12.97 |
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Rather unfortunately for the entertainment of everyone involved, Neil once again dominated the round. This, after we kindly asked him to have a poor qualifying so he could bump up from the bottom final. Maybe he didn't want to risk it, maybe he was just tired and wanted to do it the easy way. With skill. Oh well, we'll see what happens come the finals.
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4wd Qualifying Round 6 |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
17/5'8.97 |
2 |
Greg Williams |
17/5'15.86 |
3 |
Nathan Waters |
17/5'16.16 |
4 |
Simon Moss |
16/5'0.59 |
5 |
James Helliwell |
16/5'2.77 |
6 |
Eugene Galley |
16/5'6.17 |
7 |
Tom Cockerill |
16/5'7.52 |
8 |
Matthew Latham |
16/5'10.28 |
9 |
Richard Drury |
16/5'12.16 |
10 |
Andrew Twigger |
16/5'13.27 |
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RBR - RIP |
Sundays bump up finals.
1/16th B
With higher entry numbers on Sunday the finals extended to the 1/16th bump ups. The first final out was the 1/16th B final, with Thornewill leading the cars off the grid, an early error from Thornewill saw him out of action for a short time whilst something was mended, rejoining the track right at the back of the race. This promoted Bullivant to the lead, who instantly started to pull a good gap and catch up to the now back-marking poleman. Bullivant lead Bulmer and Bestall for part of the race, but the fastest car on the track was pole-man Thornewill who moved up to 3rd place.
His early mistake cost Thornewill the race win, but finishing in 3rd place bumped him up into the 1/8th finals for a second chance.
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B 1/16 Final |
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1 |
James Bullivant |
14/5'5.73 |
2 |
Andrew Bulmer |
14/5'11.75 |
3 |
Mark Thornewill |
14/5'18.76 |
4 |
James Bestall |
13/5'9.42 |
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1/16th A
Bally moved up to first early in this race with his ex-Collinson durango, leaving Russel Woodhouse, John Dunn and Mikey Dunn battling between themselves for 2nd and 3rd place in the hope of bumping up. Lee Washington was out on his own at the back. Lots of madness happened on the tabletop jump, plenty of crashing off the jump - it would have made for a good video. Russel dropped down to last place where he stayed for the race duration, by now Bally had a 13 second lead - he bummed out on the last lap and broke his car but was already so far ahead that he still finished in 1st place. Something to do with forgetting to charge his cells all day.
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A 1/16 Final |
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1 |
Michael Ball |
14/4'57.80 |
2 |
John Dunn |
14/5'10.28 |
3 |
Mikey Dunn |
14/5'12.32 |
4 |
Lee Washington |
14/5'19.93 |
5 |
Russell Woodhouse |
13/5'0.61 |
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1/8th B.
David Smith and Mark Christopher started to pull off, when suddenly Mark Christopher crashed and dropped back. Now Natalie Williams moved into the lead for half a lap, but soon dropped back to make way for Anthony Washington.
Washington lead pole-man David Smith and Lee Carter was up to 3rd place for a while, Mark Christopher was dancing around back in 7th place after qualifying 2nd on the grid. The battle was really on for 3rd position though with Natalie seeking her chance to bump-up. 2 minutes into the race she moved back into 3rd place and kept her position until the race end, whilst David Smith re-gained the lead and Washington settled for 2nd.
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B 1/8 Final |
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1 |
David Smith |
15/5'10.46 |
2 |
Antony Washington |
14/5'3.84 |
3 |
Natalie Williams |
14/5'3.97 |
4 |
James Bullivant |
14/5'9.18 |
5 |
Fred Briers |
14/5'11.85 |
6 |
Lee Carter |
14/5'13.63 |
7 |
Mark Thornewill |
14/5'14.86 |
8 |
Mark Christopher |
13/5'14.97 |
9 |
Rob Stanway |
13/5'19.39 |
10 |
Andrew Bulmer |
4/1'44.18 |
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1/8th A
In this race of men Sam Dixon pulled away in pole position and started to build a healthy lead back to 2nd place face-of-fister Stu Evans, who had Jimmy Maddison close behind. 4th Place Stephen Wilkinson made an error and dropped right back to last place.
Stu somehow ended up in the lead for a short time, but Sam came knocking at his back door - Stu tried to pull off but couldn't make it stick and ended up dropping back to 3rd. After an error from Dixon it was now Jimmy Maddison who took the lead. Stephen Wilkinson was now back up to 4th place to join in the battle for bump up, the order was Maddison-Dixon-Evans. Something happened to Maddison and he dropped right back, leaving the lead position open for pole-man Sam Dixon to take up, with Evans and Wilkinson behind him. Somewhere much further back, bump-up-Bally broke some business and had to retire from the race early. Maddison had a dissapointing end to his race, having eliminated his chance to progress into the next final, he ramped off the tabletop on his last lap and smashed some stuff up.
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A 1/8 Final |
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1 |
Sam Dixon |
15/5'10.14 |
2 |
Stuart Evans |
15/5'10.89 |
3 |
Stephen Wilkinson |
15/5'14.06 |
4 |
Paul Crawford |
15/5'18.23 |
5 |
James Collins |
14/5'3.56 |
6 |
Colin McCaffery |
14/5'3.93 |
7 |
John Dunn |
14/5'4.53 |
8 |
Mikey Dunn |
12/5'1.10 |
9 |
Jimmy Maddison |
10/4'57.73 |
10 |
Michael Ball |
8/2'57.91 |
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B 1/4 Final
Ben Jemison was off and away, Leon shit out and everyone had to drive over him - he went into the end of the straight, weeing and screaming. Ben Jem soon had a 3 second lead going back to Will Johnson and Julien Parnot. Will put the hammer down and started to close in on Ben, couldn't keep it up though as ben pulled further away on the last lap. Thibault Berthier was at the back of the field crashing all over the place, whilst Paul Crompton was pushing to catch up to Julien, narrowly missing out on the bump up position by a fraction of a second.
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B 1/4 Final |
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1 |
Ben Jemison |
16/5'10.77 |
2 |
Will Johnson |
16/5'21.24 |
3 |
Julien Parnot |
15/5'9.15 |
4 |
Paul Crompton |
15/5'9.43 |
5 |
Leon Morrell |
14/5'0.76 |
6 |
David Smith |
14/5'1.07 |
7 |
Natalie Williams |
14/5'1.78 |
8 |
Antony Washington |
14/5'4.80 |
9 |
Thibault Berthier |
14/5'15.48 |
10 |
Kenny Clark |
9/3'22.80 |
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A 1/4 Final
Stu Evans had a bad start to his bump-up final, dropping to 10th early on. Steve Pierce pulled a strong lead, initially followed by Jeff Steele, Wes Jolly, and Fabien Simonini.
An error from Jolly saw Fabien move up again, now sitting in 3rd place, with a good gap back to Wes Jolly. Fabs pulled a good move past Jeff Steele to take 2nd place, but still had a 4 second gap up to Steve Pierce in 1st place, who was by now lapping the cars at the back of the field.
With one and a half minutes to go Fabien started to close the gap slightly, whilst further back Stuart Evans had started to fist through the competition, pulling an awesome move on Chris Stewart to pass him on the straight. With half a minute to go Steve's lead was down to 3 seconds, but Fabien didn't have enough race time left to catch up and had to settle for 2nd place. All the same Steve, Fabien and Jeff bumped into A semi.
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A 1/4 Final |
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1 |
Steven Pierce |
16/5'15.37 |
2 |
Fabien Simonini |
15/5'0.59 |
3 |
Jeff Steele |
15/5'2.92 |
4 |
Wes Jolly |
15/5'4.40 |
5 |
Stuart Evans |
15/5'10.48 |
6 |
Chris Stewart |
15/5'13.27 |
7 |
Sam Dixon |
14/5'1.38 |
8 |
Mitchell Booth |
14/5'1.50 |
9 |
Stephen Wilkinson |
14/5'8.99 |
10 |
Martin Wallace |
13/5'0.33 |
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B SEMI Final
Belsten hammered through from 6th place to 4th place - remember for the semi finals these guys need to finish in the top 5 to make the A main, so Belsten was in with a chance early on. Greg Williams, Paul Bradby and James Helliwell lead the race in regulation order, followed by Matt Latham in 4th place. Will Johnson was out of the race less than one minute in.
Belsten made a move past BenJem who'd made an error coming over the mats and dropped down the order, Jemmo was back into 6th place on the next lap though, whilst Belsten was riding the 5th spot.
Bad stuff happened for Julien who was out of the race after 3 minutes, and Jemison broke something towards the end. Up front the top 4 finished in their start order, whilst Belsten made it through to bump into the main event.
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B SEMI Final |
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1 |
Greg Williams |
17/5'10.96 |
2 |
Paul Bradby |
17/5'13.18 |
3 |
James Helliwell |
16/5'4.84 |
4 |
Matthew Latham |
16/5'10.42 |
5 |
Dave Belsten |
16/5'13.94 |
6 |
Richard Drury |
16/5'18.19 |
7 |
Ben Jemison |
15/4'58.09c |
8 |
Andrew Twigger |
15/5'2.38 |
9 |
Julien Parnot |
10/3'23.75 |
10 |
Will Johnson |
2/44.04 |
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A SEMI Final
Simon Moss started hassling Nathan Waters early in the race, whilst further back Fabien was hot on the tail of Eugene Galley. There was a huge crash in the middle of the track - not sure what happened there but mysteriously Jeff Steele moved up from 10th place to 7th.
Neil Cragg was speeding away and started lapping back-traffic before the first two minutes were up. Now Eugene had Gareth Stanton hunting him down.
The top 6 raced in order with no changes. Jeff Steele mixed it up a bit by changing race position but not enough to bump into the main final.
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A SEMI Final |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
17/5'7.21 |
2 |
Nathan Waters |
17/5'14.41 |
3 |
Simon Moss |
17/5'14.78 |
4 |
Tom Cockerill |
17/5'16.67 |
5 |
Eugene Galley |
16/5'11.83 |
6 |
Gareth Stanton |
16/5'12.32 |
7 |
Steven Pierce |
15/5'3.05 |
8 |
Jeff Steele |
15/5'9.78 |
9 |
Michael Vincent |
15/5'10.10 |
10 |
Fabien Simonini |
13/4'20.29 |
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4WD A Main
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4WD A Main |
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1 |
Neil Cragg |
17/5'15.32 |
2 |
Nathan Waters |
17/5'18.07 |
3 |
Greg Williams |
17/5'18.84 |
4 |
Tom Cockerill |
16/5'1.11 |
5 |
Paul Bradby |
16/5'1.72 |
6 |
Simon Moss |
16/5'2.87 |
7 |
Matthew Latham |
16/5'10.80 |
8 |
James Helliwell |
16/5'11.30 |
9 |
Dave Belsten |
16/5'20.74 |
10 |
Eugene Galley |
15/5'9.73 |
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Well done to Neil Cragg who had a successful weekend, and the Frenchish lads who braved our wintery conditions when many of the locals chose to stay tucked up in bed. Massive thanks to Muzzy and his team, and to Schumacher who support the series and are big oOple supporters.
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Muzzy is a hero of men, and has the patience of paint. |
Overseas visitors. |
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