Stupid things to say?

[Lee]

What are the daftest things people have said?

One of mine was the other week, myself and the missus were driving home, i pulled out to overtake a car when she pipes up with

" i hate it when you overtake when you cant see whats coming"

I dont think she has grasped the idea of dual carriage ways yet



Another one was my ex

Me and my dad were talking about the grand national and how some horses are handicapped more than others, i could tell she wanted to say some thing by the way she was looking.

So she says to us "why dont they race normal horses instead of handicapped ones"

[ashleyb4]

These arent what peopel say but on my paper round there is a house and on the front door there is a sticker with a door bell on it saying door to door sales dont ring my bell. Well you havent got a bell to ring!!!!

A

[LEGEND]

There is also a house on my paper round that has exactly the same thing. Well couldn't they just knock then. You ain't ringing the doorbell are you.

[emzy]

My best friend asked her Irish boyfriend if Belfast (where's he from) was in Scotland... after going on and on about how she loves his Irish accent...?!

[telboy]

when you bang your head on something.....
...and THEN someone says "ooh, watch out for that pole"

Yeah thanks for that.

[andy05]

A mate of mine went in to a chippy at the end of a heavy night out and asked for a portion of salt and vinegar

[emzy]

I've done that before, sober, and totally serious!

I went in and asked for a portion of vinegar, they laughed, I said a sachet, and then asked if they wanted me to pay for it. They just... looked at me.

[elvo]

edited

[b4rs]

most of these arent really what the topic's about mate, and most are really unfunny, no offence but i always find english sense of humor is totally different from the rest of the world. e.g sarcasm etc.

these werent funny and didnt comply with the topic name. :christina Aguilera concert."


"It's as slippery as an eel on roller skates!"


"A urinal is like GhostBusters: DON'T CROSS THE BEAMS"








"I have sex like I just got out of prison, and am about to go back in!"




[Elvo]
"My cat is in heat. How does one satisfy a feline?"
[Tiff]
"Show her some 'pussy' pr0n."



"... my fully gay semi-boyfriend. Semi-gay but fully boyfriend is just as bad, by the way."






"I would be on the short end of the hobo food chain."



"It's hard to face your problem when the problem is your face."


"The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble sometimes shoots back."



"If the milk smells like shit, the cow is not fit."



"Finding this light switch is like finding the clitoris."



"Women are supposed to be like 2 stroke engines."

(at a race)
"Am I the only one looking forward to getting home and doing some fucking?"


"my morning wood was gone before I got up the stairs"


"Why buy a laptop when a cat serves the same purpose? (Keep legs warm while typing)"[/quote]

some are funny nut theyre not realistic everyday "blonde" sayings.